Category Archives: Love and Romance

Baby Proof Your Marriage: Survive Baby’s First Year with your Marriage Intact

By | Love and Romance, Parenting, Uncategorized | One Comment

It’s our third time doing this, yet I still forget how hard the first year with a new baby is. The first few weeks of a baby’s life seem blissful as people offer meals, babysitting services and “ooo” and “ah” over mama and babe. In that idyllic moment when your partner looks at you and considers you a queen for bringing the most beau-ti-mous child EVER into the world, it’s inconceivable that you’ll ever feel anything but adoration for each other.

Four to six months later, when you’re sleep deprived, your house looks like a clothing/toy/paper bomb has exploded in.every.room. and your true love is suddenly being sooooo unreasonable, you begin to wonder how in the world you had children with this person anyway!

You don’t know what I’m talking about?

Uh, me either.

Just stop reading here and check out this post about how perfect my husband is.

Whew. Now that we got rid of all the perfect people….

This morning, a friend and I laughed (wryly) about the marital challenges in baby’s first year. She observed that she has seem a lot of marriages end in that time period. I had to concur. I recognize that even couples who might not divorce may see their quality of marriage begin to erode around the time babies arrive.

It seems ironic that the moment in which you see the physical manifestation of the love and passion that drew you together – a new life – may be the very moment you begin to drift apart.

Rob and I have noticed this in our own marriage and we’ve been taking a few steps to keep our relationship intact.

Get some sleepLook, I know your baby may not be sleeping through the night and once you have more than one that advice to “sleep when baby sleeps” goes right out the window! But life is so much easier to face when we’re at least a little caught up on sleep. I am not the same girl when I’m majorly sleep deprived. Plus, we tend to make dangerous mistakes when we are tired. Check out my friend Megan’s story!

Lower your expectations of, well, life – just for a while.
Pretend life is in a temporary state of suspended animation. Your house, dishes, toilet, tile floor, living room (not that I’m talking about me!) may not be perfect for a while. Get over it.

When you start to freak about the condition of your normally clean bathroom, take a deep breath, turn to your lover, the one with whom you made your precious little darling and – KISS them. In our house we say, “What’s more important – Your sister (husband, friend, mom) or your stuff?” Uh-huh.

Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.Moms – Dad is not going to do everything like we would. That’s what makes us special.  Remember nesting and how crazy we get? Don’t turn that hormonal protective instinct on a supportive, loving partner.

Dads – remember that the woman of your dreams is under the influence (she probably thinks she’s normal) so everything is slightly blown out of proportion. A little compassion please.

Remember to use ‘safe’ language to communicate.If you must talk about some relational issue whilst under the influence of hormones and severe sleep deprivation (I advise against it but…), try setting some ground rules.

Instead of —

“You did… to make me feel like…”

try, “I know you probably didn’t mean it this way – but – when you said xyz, I felt like…”

LAUGH – at a funny movie, at your sleep deprived state, at yourselfLaughter eases the tension. When we had some pretty tense moments a few weeks ago, Rob decided to go all “Ryan Gosling” on me and make me a few memes – of himself. I’m still laughing!

Make-out like you’re dating Remember dating? When you just couldn’t get enough of each other and you steamed the windows in your car while saying goodbye in the church parking lot?

Wait. That wasn’t you?

Yeah. Me either.

But, pretend for a moment it was. Making out like that might remind you that you’re actually in love with this person.

*************

I am SO preaching to the choir today, friends!

The first year of a baby’s life sure introduces some challenges into a marriage – even if it’s not your first. I know this will pass. In the meantime, we’re learning how to love each other through it!

What do you do to protect your marriage in times of change or upheaval?

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Forget Ryan Gosling: This Guy is the New Face of Sexy

By | Honest Mothering, Love and Romance | One Comment

Rob and I have been slugging through “dog days” of parenting an infant. We’re looking for new ways to connect with each other and laugh so we don’t lose our minds.

A few days ago, after a stressful evening, he created a funny meme for me – reminiscent of the REDIC Ryan Gosling memes that went viral. Have you not seen them???? Please, please do yourself a favor and look at the Gosling memes. Even better if you’re slap happy tired and feeling giggly.

Well, now I have my own “hunk-o-burning-love” memes.

Sorry Ryan, you’ve been replaced.

 

You Know You’re Loved When…

By | Love and Romance | 2 Comments

You know you’re loved when…

Your husband sends you a funny meme of himself, Ryan Gosling style.

Rob and I are truly, madly, deeply in love. Oh yes.

But, this blog is all about keepin’ it real so I’m not gonna pretend that the first year challenges of baby life (sleep deprivation and trying to fit our growing brood into a small townhouse) don’t get to us.

We’re just like everybody else, you know.

Human.

Humor goes a long way in preserving relationships during the stressful moments, don’t ya’ think? It reminds us why we like each other.

This is why I love this guy so much. He knows me SO.VERY.WELL.

Let’s grab that bite, babe.

And maybe?

A Nap.

Zzzzzzzzzzz…..

Happy Birthday, Love!!

By | Love and Romance | 2 Comments

It’s been over 11 years now that I’ve had the privilege of celebrating life with the person I most admire in the world. I happen to be married to him. Today, is his birthday and I’m feeling so blessed to be the one that he picked to spend his life loving.

You might think my comment about admiring him most in all the world a bit over the top. But, those of you who know him, know that he is the kind of man that a person feels lucky to call friend, let alone – partner, husband, lover. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s me who has that privilege!

So today, I just want to wish him a very, very happy birthday. While, we’ll have a great little private celebration at home, I can’t let today pass without a public acknowledgment of who he is for me!

My dearest…

I love your sense of humor and will never forget that very funny laugh that drew me to you! I love your kindness and the sweetness with which you love me and the girls.

You are the most honorable man of integrity I know. You are always the person you appear to be and you know how highly I value that about you. You are the best dad I could have picked for our kids. I remember the first day I realized I was attracted to you – having almost a vision of you in that role and realizing you would be amazing in it. You have far surpassed my dreams.

You have MAD guitar skills. Seriously – so hot!!!

You are my favorite movie/music partner. Love watching them and deconstructing them with you! Haha!!!

In my darkest moments, your faith and faithfulness to gave me the courage to believe even whenI felt like I was falling off a cliff.

I love your awesome calves. (we’ll leave the rest for the more private celebration).

I love the way your faith truly guides your decisions and makes you a person who loves fully and lives a life of service to others. Not everyone gets this about the way we choose to live our lives – career choices and everything else. But, I get it and I respect and love you SO VERY much for it! I could not be more proud of the man you are.

Thank you for loving me every day – for working so hard – for being the dad, friend and person you are.

You’re the shade of my heart…

M –

 

I have to add – that not only is today Rob’s birthday…It is also a day that he’s using to give birth to an amazing project. Many of you know that he is a very talented musician. For years, he’s played on and produced other projects. This year, he’s put that effort into his first solo album.

I’ve heard it – it’s great music!!!

He has great songs, incredible musicians and a studio all lined up to start the project. But this isn’t just any old album. Instead of producing this for profit, Robert plans to donate the proceeds of the album sales to people in need. He’ll soon be revealing the special group who will receive that help. Would you consider contributing to it? Take a moment and check it out.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/181390422/2086992123?token=8eb044cc