Category Archives: Pregnancy

Brianna’s Story: The Body Knows What to Do!

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My Third Birth Story

by Brianna Walker

I had a typical hospital birth; wasn’t induced because I did want a natural birth, but did end up getting an epidural. I had an amazing doula, but the environment of the hospital made it very hard to labor naturally. After having Elliott, I knew that I would have been able to have a natural birth if I was at home. I am lucky to have strong, amazing women in my life who have had home births, so when I got pregnant with my second son, I knew that a home birth was exactly what I wanted. My husband was also on board with the idea. I had an amazing midwife and doula who helped me welcome our 9 pound son, Reed.

My third son is the most recent so here is his story:
Another boy! After having both a hospital birth and a home birth, there was no question that I would once again welcome baby boy #3 in our home. This birth was a text book birth. Being due at the end of July, the summer heat and feeling like labor and delivery was still too recent, made me have lazy thoughts about doing it all again. I continued to pray for a small baby thinking it would make things much easier.

It was only 3 days before my due date and I woke up around 230 am to use the restroom. For the past week, I would have pretty strong contractions and pressure each time I urinated and of course had the same feeling this night. I got back into bed, but was wakened again by another contraction about 15 minutes later. I was able to sleep on and off until 4 am.

I knew baby was going to make his appearance. I woke my husband and called my sister in law who was in town and was going to be at the birth. I also called Pam, my midwife, and told her that I knew I was in labor but would keep her posted on timing and call once contractions were a minute apart. My husband made a pot of coffee and I was walking around breathing through my contractions and conversing with my sister in law. She noticed that my contractions were getting close and suggest I call my midwife. This was 630 am and Pam said she would head on over and my two older boys were waking up.

My little sister also came over to help with the boys and meet the new baby. Around 730 my midwife and her apprentice came over and this was just about the time I was getting into the bath. I always like to try to wait as long as possible before getting into the water. It amazes me how peaceful and calming the warm water is during such an intense time. Back labor was painful and I remember trying to float in the tub to lessen the pressure. I breathed through a couple of really hard contractions and remember feeling tired and a bit defeated because I did not want to work anymore.

Then came a moment of rest. Contractions seemed to stop for a long period of time; I think I even fell asleep for those few minutes but was awakened with pressure and feeling rested. I immediately needed to switch from my back to my knees in a crawling position in the tub. Pam used counter pressure on my hips and my body pushed. I thought maybe my water broke, but I actually peed. Another surge came and again my body pushed; this time my water did break.

I told my husband to go get my sister so that she could see the baby being born. As he left, another surge came and my body pushed again. When he and my sister entered the bathroom, I was holding my sweet baby. He was my smallest, 7lbs and 14oz. Elliott and Reed immediately met their brother and Elliott got to cut the “electrical cord.” Welcome Blake William Walker!

Birth is empowering. Even when my mind was feeling lazy and defeated, my body knew what it had to do. As soon as baby enters the world, the pain is immediately gone and adrenaline and love and emotion empower. I am blessed to have had these experiences. They have forever changed me.

 

Brianna Walker and Monna have known each other since birth! Their parents were very good friends so they grew up like cousins. Brianna grew up to be a Global Business graduate of ASU and met her husband not long after graduation. They were married a year and a half later. Within a few months later she was pregnant with their first son. While her first baby was born at a hospital, she has experienced two home births since then and encourages other mamas to be empowered in their births. She spends her time raising her three smart, sweet boys.

Birth Week: Gabi’s Story, The “Un-Hippy” HomeBirther

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Birth Week: Gabi’s Story, The “Un-Hippy” HomeBirther

 

When I found out I was pregnant I was planning on delivering in a hospital just like most other moms out there.  I didn’t really think I had a choice and never really thought about other options.  After watching several episodes of “One Born Every Minute” I started to get scared.  I didn’t want to have to go through all the L&D drama.  It seemed like there was always something wrong and I kept thinking “certainly there was a better, more gravity friendly, way to deliver a baby than lying on your back, right?”

I heard so many stories from friends about how their birth did not go the way they wanted, and about how they hoped things would go different next time.  I was determined to find a better way to birth, and so started my quest.

I share my story not in a judgmental way, because I believe every woman knows what is best for them; and what works for some does not work for others.  But I share in order to encourage other moms-to-be out there that you DO have choices in the way you birth!  And you don’t have to be a patchouli smelling, dreadlock wearing hippy to have a home birth.  For reference, I am an events director for a republican political committee.  My husband is an IT consultant and former White House staffer and we live in Washington DC.  We also drive a Prius.  So you could say we’ve broken some of those stereotypes people think of when a home-birther comes to mind!

After watching The Business of Being Born I realized that I wanted an “in control” birth like the ones shown in the documentary.  I wanted a birth where I could wear my own clothes, eat a snack if I wanted, and most importantly, deliver in any position that I wanted to. We were nowhere near deciding to do a homebirth at this point yet, but I thought if I could find a midwife who practiced this philosophy, or if my OBGYN was agreeable and I could be in the ‘safety’ of a hospital that would be great.  So at my 12 week appointment I told my OBGYN what I was thinking.  Although she was very supportive of what I wanted to do she explained to me the wonderful world of malpractice law and how she was obligated to follow the rules of the hospital she practiced out of which entails things like being attached to a fetal monitor, not eating during labor, etc.  So she gave me her blessing of moving out of her practice so I could start using the midwife practice I found in Alexandria, VA – BirthCare.

BirthCare is staffed by 7 Certified Nurse Midwives and specializes in out-of-hospital births.   They mostly do home births, but they also have a home-like birth center at their facility.  Their philosophy is for women to take responsibility for their own health.  One of my favorite parts is when I walk in the door they give me my file so I can review my charts and take my own weight and blood pressure.

Throughout most of our pregnancy we were planning on delivering at the onsite birth center.  It wasn’t until about 30 weeks when they encouraged us to think about doing a home birth.  After a home-visit from our birth assistant she looked around our house and said “you have a really nice place, why aren’t you guys considering a homebirth?”  My reasons included things like:

–          I didn’t want our things to get “hospital dirty” (even though our house was pretty much completely draped in throw away sheets)

–          I didn’t want my neighbors to hear “labor noises” from our apartment  (There wasn’t really any screaming that took place and our walls endured the test!  And when you’re in labor you just don’t care!)

–          I didn’t want my friends to judge me for being a total weirdo for having a home birth – because for some reason, explaining that we were going to a “birth center” was a little less weird and you could justify that it was a medical facility (even though it wasn’t)

–          When people came over to our house, I didn’t want people to think “did she give birth in the chair I’m sitting in? … ewww” (I’m over it)

As ridiculous as those things sound now, that was how I felt at the time.  I ended up checking in with two friends who had home births and felt encouraged.  The final decision came after our midwife explained that the birth center didn’t have anything additional there than we would have at home.  They make sure you are well prepared about one month in advance and that you have the supplies you need.  Our birth assistant came over (on her second home visit) to make sure we had everything put aside in one location, that it was orderly and that it worked correctly .  They also make sure you are pre-registered at your back-up hospital in the event you need to transfer.  After all this preparation, I felt well, prepared!

I started feeling my first contractions on our due date of November 4.    They felt like cramps and came in waves.  I thought “hey if this is what contractions feel like, they’re not that bad!” This was my last day of work, but I ended up staying home due to some spotting I had.  They suggested I just rest and stay off my feet.  I let Max know about the contractions but told him they were 45 minutes apart and it was no big deal.  My parents came over to hang out for a while that evening but we all knew this was going to be a while so they left and we told them we’d give them a call when things pick up.

My contractions continued throughout the whole night and began to intensify.  Max put me in the tub to relax which helped.  He also called the midwives to let them know we were managing fine but just to give them a heads up.  When they reached about 5 minutes apart, he gave them a call again and they were on their way.

My midwife (Alice), birth assistant (Claudia) and parents (Gil & Delia) arrived around 7:00 am on Saturday morning, November 5th.  It took them about 2 hours to unload their equipment and start paperwork, documenting my vitals, etc.  We put in a movie and just hung out, but in the process, my contractions started to slow down to about 10 minutes apart and stayed there.  Alice checked my cervix to see how far dilated I was – I was at 6 ½ – pretty good!  After checking the cervix, she suggested that everyone clear out to give us some privacy for a few hours so I could relax and perhaps try a little nipple stimulation to get the contractions going again.  Good suggestion, but it wasn’t all that comfortable and it didn’t really feel that great.   Once Alice came back I was pretty much stalled with contractions 10 minutes apart.  At this point, Alice suggested they leave for the rest of the afternoon and for us to call them when things started to pick up again.  I slept as best I could in 5 and 7 minute increments throughout the night and into the morning.

At about 2:00 am on Sunday morning, I felt like contractions were more frequent at 2-3 minutes apart lasting about 30 seconds.  To me these were consistent enough to call Alice again (little did I know that we still had a ways to go).  So, once again, Alice and Claudia arrive – and once again I stall out to about 5-7 minutes.  As soon as the sun came up Alice and Claudia conferred and made up a plan of how we should proceed for the rest of the day.  First, she wanted me to take a shower and get ready for the day.  Easy enough – sort of.  Once I finished my first assignment I came out refreshed and ready to face day.

Next, she said, “OK, now we’re all going to have breakfast together.  Do you have breakfast ingredients? “

“Yes,” I said studiously.

“Great!” replied Alice.  “You’re going to make it for us!”

I gave a nervous laugh because I thought she was kidding – but she wasn’t.  Her goal was to keep me moving to keep my contractions in motion.  So, again, like a good student I start taking out the bacon, eggs, cinnamon rolls and juice.  This brought on a whole new meaning to “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” as I would stop for contractions every 4 minutes while frying up an egg.  But this was exactly the part of having a home birth that I enjoyed.  Being comfortable in my own home and serving others while they served me.  Breakfast wasn’t bad either!

After everything was cleaned up, our next assignment was to take a walk.  After cooking breakfast and cleaning up, I REALLY didn’t want to go outside in the cold – but I also wanted to get our sweet baby out, so off we went.  And we actually had a good time!  Max and I walked around the block.  Stopped by the CVS to get a newspaper and some toothpaste.  Then to the bakery to get some of my favorite cookies.  We were gone for about an hour, stopping every 5 minutes or so for a contraction.  And yes, lots of funny looks from passers by!

Once we came home our Birth Assistant, Claudia, informed me she had another birth to go to and asked if I would mind having another midwife from our practice assist us for the remaining time.  It was about 1:00 pm in the afternoon and still no baby.  I was starting to feel like the “watched pot” that everyone was waiting on to boil.  As much as I love my parents, and wanted them to be there, I started to feel like I was getting a little performance anxiety.  I felt like they were bored (even though they weren’t) and that I needed to be some type of a hostess (even though I didn’t).  I expressed this to my parents along with our midwife and Alice said it would be perfectly fine to ask my parents to leave.  I needed to be relaxed and if having my parents there was not relaxing then asking them to leave might be for the best.  My parents were so understanding and knew that it was for the best.  It also revealed to my mom that birth is not just a physical process – but every bit an emotional one as well.  They gave me a kiss and a prayer and we told them we’d check in once things started to happen.  When they left Alice suggested that she leave as well for a few hours to give us some privacy and she would return with our new midwife Julia.  Parting words from Claudia, “Remember, the love that got the baby in, is the same thing that will get the baby out (hint, hint).”  I really couldn’t think of anything more awkward because I was so big and felt rather unattractive, “But hey – why not give it a shot?  I really want this baby out and even though I don’t feel attractive, you’re pretty cute, Max!”  So we gave it the old college try – and finally … progress.

Alice and Julia came back around 3:00 pm that Sunday afternoon.  Max and I took one more walk, but this time I couldn’t even make it around the block.  Progress!  When we came home we were all sitting in the living room and my water broke around 5:00 pm!  Progress!!

I did the majority of my tough contractions (right before transition) in our bedroom next to the bed leaning against the birth ball or on hands and knees. They weren’t pushing contractions but they were very intense and painful.  Even though we were in very active labor I just didn’t feel like I was opening up.  My midwife went ahead and did another check.  I was 9 ½ centimeters dilated, but I had a lip on my cervix preventing the baby from being at a fetal station of 0.  Through the next 8-12 contractions, Alice had her hand inside of me to help guide the baby out of the lip.  These contractions were much more comfortable for me.  Once we “straightened the snag” we just needed to open up that last ½ centimeter.  Contractions were extremely painful and long lasting.

We moved to the shower to help relax a little more and this is when we hit transition.  I could barely stand in the shower.  I had Max guide me down so I could get on hands and knees while saying “I just want to pass out.   Please just let me pass out.”  Well, no one let me pass out.  They just helped me crawl out of the shower and into the other bathroom where I could sit in the tub and not have to stand.  Being in the tub was the most effective tool.  It was here where I fully opened up and started to feel the urge to push (finally!).  Once I got out of the tub I began to push in a squatting position and standing in between contractions.  I also had a mirror underneath me to watch the progress.  At this point it was about 1:00 am Monday morning.  After laboring for so long and doing about 4 hours of squatting and standing, Alice and Julia were concerned I would not have the energy to keep squatting when it was time to get the baby out so they suggested I move to the bed.  Reluctantly, I took their recommendation (I really wanted to stay squatting but figured it was probably a good idea to lay down for a while).  It was amazing to see the progression of Polly’s arrival with the mirror and to be able to touch and feel her head with each push.

Once we moved to the bed it was go time.  I was in a sitting position and gave about 8-10 pushes that finally got our sweet little Polly out.  Surprisingly, the “ring of fire” was a welcome change to the pain from the contractions I was feeling earlier.  On Monday, November 7 at 2:35 am I gave my last push.  Polly’s little body just slid right out and she immediately began to cry with no spanking, no suction.  She was a beautiful pink color and very responsive.  She was finally here and so amazing.  They wrapped her up and she immediately snuggled up to me and began to nurse.

Because of my low hemoglobin count toward the end of my pregnancy they gave me a bit of Pitocin as soon as she came out to get the placenta out right away and prevent hemorrhage.  About 15 minutes later I gave my final push.  Once the placenta came out they inspected it to make sure it was intact, which it was – We were out of the woods!

The whole process was 51 hours that I wouldn’t trade for the world.  Giving birth is hard work and rewarding work.  I started out doing this as a challenge to myself to see if I could do it.  But as we started learning more, we just wanted our daughter to be in the most healthy, safe and stress free environment – and for us, that was having her at home.  If you are a healthy mom having a healthy pregnancy, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t consider a home birth.  Do your research and find a good, reputable midwife with the numbers to back them up.  Throughout your 40 weeks you will be poked, prodded and asked enough questions that if a home birth is no longer a safe option for you, they will let you know.  And always trust your instinct.  One of the purposes of having a home birth is to reduce anxiety.  So if at any time you feel an out-of-hospital birth is not right for you, by all means, tell your midwife and they will help you get into a good practice that will work to keep mom and baby healthy.

My last bit of advice would be to get into a good Bradley Method class.  The Bradley Method is a 12-week series of childbirth classes designed for those having a natural, unmedicated, childbirth.  It teaches that a woman’s body is designed to handle childbirth, gives an active role to the mother’s partner (also called the coach) and teaches the importance of relaxation and proper breathing during the process.  Even if you do not plan on having an unmedicated birth, my husband and I highly recommend this series as it educates the couple exactly how the mother’s body works during each stage of labor and how the body is working for you and not against you (which can relieve a lot of anxiety during the particularly painful parts of labor).  Classes are designed to be small for individualized attention.   You can read more about the Bradley Method and find one in your area here:  http://www.bradleybirth.com/

 

 Gabi Everett is wife of Max Everett and mom to their four month old daughter, Polly.  She and Max have been married for three years and currently live in Washington, DC.  Gabi graduated with a broadcasting degree from Arizona State and is the director of events for a Republican political committee.  She enjoys living in the city, opening her home to friends and family, vacationing in fun places and learning new things – like how to rock her new position as working mother!  She loves sharing her life with others and being open about the struggles and joys of marriage, family and friendship and hopes to one day join the blogosphere nation.

Birth Week: Erin’s Birth Story – Twin Style

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Erin is a long time friend and has recently started blogging her adventures with twins. She’s funny, honest and an all-around amazing woman. I know you’ll enjoy her story!

 

My Birth Story

or Why I’m Never Doing That Again So It’s a Good Thing I Had Twins!


“Are you FREAKING kidding me?”

This is what I uttered to my doctor when he informed us that we were definitely having twins…maybe quadruplets.  I didn’t use the word “freaking” either.  He just nodded enthusiastically and told me very matter-of-factly that if I did indeed have quads that I’d be bedridden in the next few weeks and for the duration of the pregnancy.  He did all this with a huge grin on his face, like this was the BEST. NEWS. EVER!  I didn’t exactly see it that way.  My next statement was, as I turned to my husband, “I told you we should have gotten the Honda Pilot!  I can’t fit four baby seats in a CRV!”

The doctor went on to explain how unusual it was to have four gestational sacs in a natural pregnancy.  Then he said I was old.  Then he said that because I was old, my ovaries went off “like the grand finale at a fireworks display” and that’s why we had four.  Also, this doctor could only be described as a human bobble-head doll.  I was in the throes of major not-morning-but-all-day-sickness and he was making me incredibly nauseous, so he was not my bff at this moment.

Let me give a little background as to why I wasn’t exactly over the moon to be possible having quads:

This all happened in December ’09/January ’10.  I had found out I was pregnant back in July of 2009 and was over the moon.  Then we discovered that I’d miscarried and I required surgery to correct the situation.  So this incredibly joyful occasion had turned into one of the worst experiences of my life.  I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make it out of the operating room and I was scared out of my mind.  The surgery went perfectly and recovery was smooth, but I was terrified of getting pregnant again.

So, when I spewed all over the bathroom two days before Christmas, I thought, “Well, this is familiar” and sure enough the test said I was pregnant.  I called my wonderful husband, and between uncontrollable sobs and hyperventilation I managed to squeak out, “Aahhhh, ahhhmmm, I’mmmm pr, pr, pregnannnnntttttt!!!!” (continue with the uncontrollable sobbing.)  I was sure this one would end the same way.

Because of the previous experience, my physician wanted to get me in for a blood test the next day (Christmas Eve) and confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, but this time they thought I was way further along than I could have been.  Apparently my “mitichlorian count” was incredibly high.  Higher than normal. *Nerd alert: I’m a Star Wars fan, and I use the term mitichlorian count to describe the pregnancy hormone they can detect in pregnancy tests because I can never remember the acronym for that actual name and I like to pretend that I am a Jedi and so are my kids.*  I insisted that I was not that far along and they said they wanted to do an ultrasound right away to confirm.  Here we go again.  We were happy but really nervous.

Being the overachiever I am, I Googled what an ultrasound should look like at the time I figured I was in my pregnancy.  So I was ready to go, but still nervous.  We get to the ultrasound lab and we see on the screen two black orbs and two more orbs with little flickering heartbeats.  Holy crap!  I looked at the tech and asked, “Are we having twins?”  She said, “Your doctor will talk to you.”  Not the response I wanted.  Ok, back to the bobble-head Dr.  An HOUR AND A HALF LATER he did confirm that I was having twins and the possibility that the two other orbs could develop into embryos also.

This is where I started to panic.  It is a cruel joke that I carried twins, let alone almost quads.  I am only 4’11” tall.  Not built for multiples.  I was showing at 9 weeks.  Like really showing.  Like couldn’t-button-my-pants-living in-sweats showing.  I also switched doctors.  I didn’t like being told that 31 was old.  We had ultrasounds frequently because, apparently, twin pregnancies are automatically considered “high risk” no matter how well it’s going. We didn’t have many options in the city where we live for alternative types of prenatal care, so our options for a home birth were immediately quashed and the midwife situation was less than desirable.  She creeped me out and the doctor she worked with wasn’t licensed properly.

We looked for a triplet for 12 weeks and the final two sacs diminished and never turned into embryos.  I think every twin mom should be told she’s having quads because then twins sounds so much easier!

The next months of the pregnancy were pretty normal except that I was sick for 20 weeks and had one good month, March, before I got so big it was incredibly uncomfortable.  I always looked like I was two months farther along than I really was.  Oh, and I was also working full time this entire time.  I had just taken a new job, not knowing I was pregnant, and was a sales manager for a wine distributor.  I was given the ok to keep lifting cases of wine until I physically couldn’t anymore.  They are 42 pound per case.  I did that until my sixth month when there just wasn’t anywhere for me to hold the case!

All this time we were planning for the birth.  We moved homes, set up the nursery, picked names–all the normal things.  We took a Birthing from Within class and created a natural birth plan because I was adamant that I was going to birth the boys naturally.  I did the birth art.  I did the yoga (as much as I could.) We read the books, and let me just tell you that the books out there geared toward multiples are crap!  All of them!  They are unhelpful and condescending.  I threw most of them away.  And What to Expect When You’re Expecting and The First Year are not much better.  Literally one page of the whole book is devoted to multiples.  And forget any books that help you out after the babies are born!  Ok, stay on target.

My doctor was incredibly supportive and wonderful.  I love my doctor.  I recommend him to anyone in my area.  I loved our birth coach.  Dr. Smith is still my angel to this day.  He was so encouraging and supportive.  He still tells me that I’m the toughest twin mom he’s ever seen, in all his years.  I am against invasive testing and he listened and never pushed anything I didn’t want.  We did decide to have me get the steroid shots about three weeks before the boys were born and he says I was a trooper through that too.  He even gave me the go-ahead to see Tom Petty in concert on June 12th, about 6 weeks before the boys were born and he gave me the handicapped parking pass because he didn’t want me waddling all the way through the parking lot!  Have I mentioned how much I love him?  Part of why we chose Dr. Smith was because of the framed Boston Marathon number and medal hanging in the hallway–I wanted a doctor I knew could run fast across the street to the hospital in case I went into labor suddenly, and partly because he was on board with our natural birth plan.  I also love him because he didn’t judge when I explained that because I work in the wine industry, part of my job is to taste wine and he was supportive of that.  My last month, he actually recommended I have a Guinness!

Well, the birth plan changed.  Six weeks before they were born, Harry decided to wedge himself butt-first in my cervix.  He wasn’t going anywhere.  Jack was transverse and wasn’t going anywhere either!  Ok, plan B.  C-section.  Again, I’m so glad that I had my doctor because he gives “the fastest C-sections in the west!”  Or so I was told by EVERYONE!  Good deal. The month of July sucked.  I was in active labor for a good four weeks before we decided that the boys were doing all the things they should be doing and if we waited any longer, I could go further into labor and we’d have to have an emergency C-section, so we scheduled their birth for the 22nd of July.  My parents were in town and I was soooooo ready!

Amazingly, my naturally neurotic brain was calm and it was my husband that was nervous.  I was on the phone with a winery taking care of business when my doctor came in and took my phone away saying, “Get off the phone!  You’re having babies today!”  The epidural and spinal block went perfectly.  I was joking with the crew about how I needed some Led Zeppelin or AC/DC playing in the operating room.  My husband came in and did great, and even joked about how many people were in the room and my junk was hanging out!  I had asked to see the operation, but they didn’t move the curtain, so I didn’t exactly know when Harry was born until I heard the tiniest little voice.  He sounded like a dove cooing.  They wrapped him up and I got to hold him for about 20 seconds until they whisked him over to “Baby A” station.  Dr. Smith said, “someone wants to say hi” and he held Jack up over the top of the curtain.  He was whisked over to “Baby B” station and they were both given oxygen.

Harry and Erin just after birth

After that, everything happened so fast.  My C-section was about 8 minutes, start to finish.  The boys were taken directly to the NICU and I was wheeled off to recovery.  I asked to see my boys and I was informed that I had to be able to walk there on my own.  This did not jibe with my plan to breastfeed immediately so I said that I needed a breast pump right now.  I was pissed!  No one warned me that I might not get to at least go see my boys after giving birth!  I felt a little like Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill as I stared at my unmoving feet and repeated, “Wiggle your big toe.”  Finally the lactation consultant came in and I was hooked up to the breast pump.  We discovered that I had enough milk to feed the entire NICU!

Eight hours later,Christopher finally wheeled me into the NICU.  Nothing prepares you to see your tiny babies in a plastic box.  They wouldn’t let me hold them or feed them.  They both had IVs, and oxygen masks on their faces.  It was horrible.

A little twin love...

Finally, I was able to hold Jack–24 hours later!  I was also told that I could start breastfeeding for short amounts of time. Everything was so structured and limited!  But I was wheeled or trudged down to the NICU every 4 hours to feed the boys.

You'd be fussy too!!

For those of you who know me, I lean toward the hippie-ish when I’m needing to be comfortable.  Oh, I also have tattoos.  Lots of tattoos.  I’m up to a full sleeve on my right arm, but at the point when the boys were born I just had a half sleeve of my wedding flowers. Very pretty.  I’m also pierced.  Nose, ears, etc.  I had purchased a couple of those scrunched top maxi dresses because they would be great for tandem breastfeeding.  They happened to be tie-dyed.

On my second day after giving birth, I finally got to shower and felt semi-presentable.
I had my hair in a bandanna and was dressed.  I arrived at the NICU and was asked by the nurse on duty, as she looked me up and down, what kind of drugs I had taken during my pregnancy.  WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I couldn’t believe that she just asked me that!  I looked at her and said I had only taken my prescribed prenatal vitamins!  She said, “It’s just that your babies are really fussy.  You know, fussy like drug babies.”  I replied that I’d be fussy too if I was new and someone stuffed me in a Tupperware box and glued felt sunglasses to my head and stuck a feeding tube up my nose and poked me with needles every few hours!  Chris and I were livid and we filed a complaint with the hospital.

Day five brought the great news that the boys could be moved up to the Pediatrics ward.  This was awesome!  Their first night out of the NICU was Christopher’s and my 2nd wedding anniversary.  He got us our favorite food from our favorite local restaurant and we spent our first night as a family on our anniversary.  The boys got to come home with us the next day.  It is indescribably scary to bring your tiny babies home and go from having them attached to heart monitors and then to nothing!  We were so happy to be home and in a comfortable environment though.  Home, where we could feed them without someone hovering over me!

Harry & Jack

The boys are humongous now and you would never know they were four weeks premature.  They are smart as whips–too smart, like evil-genius smart, Jedi smart.  They have achieved their milestones ahead of schedule and ahead of schedule for most full-term babies!  We love and cherish every moment, even when those moments are trying and tiresome.  Christopher and I are a united team when it comes to child raising and we share duties equally, especially now that we are both working full time.  He is a totally hands-on Daddy and has never balked at anything the boys have thrown at him (or peed at him, or pooped or puked, etc.!)

I am glad that I can look back on my pregnancy with humor, because it was dreadful when I was going through it. I have never been sicker, more uncomfortable and in more pain than during those eight months.  I am also glad that after the miscarriage, we were blessed with twins, because I am never going to do that again!

Erin and Christopher with Harry & Jack

About Erin…

My life has gone from relatively simple to Mayhem, Chaos and complete insanity in the short span of four years. I married the love of my life in 2008, got pregnant, gave birth to twin boys in 2010 and am the tasting room manager for a local winery. My husband and I live and breathe wine, and it’s a good thing…I’ve completely given up on keeping my sanity! Just call me Mayhem.

You can read more of Erin’s writing at her blog, http://justcallmemayhem.blogspot.com/

First Time Moms: What to Expect in Your First Labor

By | Birth Choices, Birth Week, Pregnancy | 3 Comments

As I get ready to give birth again, I’ve been thinking a lot of past labors and how they feel in relation to second and third labors. The first time was SO different from the second both in terms of physical ease and, I think, in terms of knowing what to expect and probably feeling a little less fearful. Since so many of my girlfriends and readers are getting ready to labor for the first time, I wanted to spend a little time talking about this today.

First, it’s really normal and perfectly fine to feel a little fearful of the unknown. Before my first birth, I had some strong opinions about the kind of labor I wanted to have – natural and unmedicated. I wanted to embrace the strength I knew was inside of me, that my mom and grandma and great-grandmother had shown in giving birth. I knew I was joining a sisterhood of women who had done this before me. This strengthened me. I did my research, took a birth class, asked for advice. But…in truth, I was still a little freaked out about the whole, you know, pushing-a-head-out-my-special-place part of childbirth.

The best way to get over fear is to examine it, answer it and move past it. Not only did I face my fear, I  also delivered a 9lb 7 oz baby (yes, out of my “special place”) and learned a few important things about first births in the process. Hopefully, they’ll encourage you!

1.Educate yourself about birth and pick a doctor who fits your philosophy of birth by asking open ended questions. Trust your gut. If you don’t like him or her, switch. Labor is not a time to decide you REALLY don’t like your doc.

2. Pick a hospital with birthing tubs (or, you know, have your baby in your own tub!). Defy gravity in a tub of warm water. If you’re in active labor it will relax you, not slow contractions. You can always get out to birth.

3. Write a friendly (and BRIEF!) birth plan outlining your desired labor for the nursing staff.

4. Lose the term “false alarms” or false labor. Think of those as “warm-ups”. If it’s close to bedtime, have a snack and try to go to sleep. If you can sleep, chances are it’s not time yet.

5. First labors (usually) start slowly. Rarely will the bag of waters rupture all like in the movies while mom falls to the floor wailing in pain. I had several days of contractions where I thought – “This is it!”  – and then things sort of slowed down.

6. First labors can last a long time so mentally prepare for birth to take whatever time it needs. Trust that your body is working just right.  Don’t let anyone pressure you into hurrying. While there are times that induction is appropriate, research seems to indicate that unecessary induction drugs like Pitocin may lead to unnecessary C-sections. Do your research in advance and choose a birth attendant who will respectfully discuss your options with you.

7. Choose your birth team wisely. Hire a doula, a midwife or bring a supportive friend to encourage you and stand up for you during birth. You’ll need the encouragement and your partner will probably appreciate the backup.

8. Stay home as long as you can while in labor if you’re planning a hospital birth. You’ll be more relaxed and you may even progress faster. There are a lot of other things to distract you at home. Once you’re at the hospital, there’s little else to think about other than the labor.

9. Move around as much as possible in labor and if you can, avoid drugs so you can eat and drink in labor. You’ll need the energy.

10. If you get a nurse who you’re not connecting with, politely ask for a new one.

11. Transition is success! If you’re like me and chose the natural route, it might also be entitled the “Holy crap, WHY IN THE WORLD DID I THINK I WANTED A NATURAL BIRTH?” phase of labor. Congrats mom. Remember, if you’re here – you’re almost there. You can do it! You’re close to the finish, sister, so don’t lose heart!

12. The “Ring of Fire” is your friend. It will tell you when to push and when to take a break. Self-directed (rather than doc-directed) pushing will result in more effective pushing and a lowered likelihood of tearing. Don’t hide from the intensity. Dive in and allow it to bring you that much closer to your little one. Reach your hand down and feel for your baby’s head. If you want, have someone place a mirror where you can see your progress.

Girls, don’t freak out about seeing your own vagina. How in the world do you think that baby got there?! You’ll be amazed at the incentive you feel to push if you see a little head making its appearance.

13. Remember – you and your partner are the parents. Unless your baby needs emergency care, you can choose for her to stay with you instead of going to the nursery. (The caveat for this is if you don’t have a private room post birth). When our daughter left the room for weighing or tests, Robert went with her.

A few more thoughts…

As you near birth, something wonderful happens that helps you to overcome your fear (if you’re feeling any). Suddenly, all you can think of is, “GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!” You’re big, unwieldy and (if you’re like me), HOT!! I think this is nature’s way of giving women triumph over fear of labor. Go with it! Just keep in mind that your “due date” – is just an estimate! Some babies just take longer to make their appearance. I have friends who’ve delivered more than once at 42 weeks. Patience. Your baby will know just the right time to arrive.

Before my first baby, a doctor explained something about the pain of labor that revolutionized my thinking. Unlike the acute pain of having surgery or breaking a bone, labor is progressive in intensity ~ almost wavelike ~ in the way it moves a woman toward birth. My doc encouraged me that an epidural is not a necessary part of labor. I really held on to her words as I went into that first labor. It worked. With each increase of intensity, I adjusted!

Early labor is a great time to practice getting used to the “wave” with deep breaths and, if necessary, low vocalizing or moaning. Unlike the high pitched, panicked sounds women in television shows make to highlight the drama of the moment, lower sounds relax the body for delivery. My midwife (who I used for our second birth), encouraged me to visualize large, round openings and to think of each contraction as softening the edges of the openings my baby needed to exit.

Most importantly, regardless of whether you’ve chosen a home birth or a hospital one, be flexible and forgiving about how your birth progresses. While you want to be informed and have a plan, birth doesn’t always go quite as we intend. If yours doesn’t, acknowledge it – and then move on. Be in awe of the powerful and courageous woman – YOU –  who spent nearly a year growing a beautiful life and then  delivered it to the world.

That’s right – YOU delivered that baby, not your doc or your midwife!!

Focus on recovering and enjoying that new baby!

I wish you a safe and happy delivery and many years of joy with the new family member you’re expecting.

For more encouragement, read a few “first births” like Gabi’s birth story or my first birth story.