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Today is my 35th birthday and it’s a particularly good birthday for me. I woke feeling joyful at the morning light streaming through my window onto the faces of my beautiful girls and husband. Then, I slipped from the bed and started the morning alone – hiking, reflecting on my life so far.<\/p>\n

This year feels different for me. I think a lot of it has to do with a transformation that’s been taking place inside me for a while. I’ve wasted a lot of my life – years really – wishing for something I am not. I’m not saying I have not enjoyed my life. It has been amazing so far, filled with love and accomplishment.<\/p>\n

I’ve had jobs I’ve loved and jobs I’ve hated. In them, I discovered that I love aviation, travel and that I’m really good at\u00a0learning new things.\u00a0I attended a university on a scholarship which allowed me to sing my way through school and still study what I\u00a0enjoy most (stories about people — also known as History). In my latest job, I get to sing beautiful music – then stay home and play with my kids. In all these places, interesting and wonderful people from all over the world have contributed to my\u00a0personal and professional growth.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0am LUCKY <\/em>in love.\u00a0Ten years ago this year, I married <\/strong>the one <\/strong><\/em>my soul loves. He is handsome, kind, SMART, talented, fun<\/strong><\/em><\/span>, loving, gentle <\/em>– strong.\u00a0<\/strong>My heart melts when I think about\u00a0how\u00a0he loves me. Our two precious girls fill my days with joy and laughter. My friends and family bless me with their love. I\u00a0have a home in what I consider the most amazing country in the world. I am\u00a0so <\/em>fortunate. I frequently give thanks for these blessings.<\/p>\n

But, for a long time, when I looked into the mirror, I didn’t see a happy, accomplished, beautiful friend- mother-lover. In a Puritanical fashion true to my upbringing, I saw only my failings and spent most of my time worrying about how to be a perfect version of me – thinner, more organized, quicker on my feet, less self-conscious. Of course, I imagined life would be even more fulfilling if I could somehow just be ‘perfect me’.<\/p>\n

How did I get into the habit of wishing for a different version of myself? Maybe it was the way I was raised. Maybe it was mental laziness. Or maybe grief<\/a> got the better of me for a while. Regardless, in worrying about the future, I lost the chance to bask in the light of the current moment.
\nWell, I’m done with wasting moments.<\/p>\n

Today I’m\u00a0giving myself a special birthday gift. From this<\/em> moment on, I’m setting myself free to enjoy <\/em>me as I am right now<\/em><\/strong>. I’m going to start each morning smiling with pleasure at the face I see in the mirror and loving every wrinkle, freckle and stretch mark I’ve earned. I don’t want to stop growing as a person but I will be content with who I am now<\/em> and inhabit this moment – with my husband, girls, family and friends. I want my girls to grow up LOVING who they are, as they are, and they will learn that best from me.<\/p>\n

I have a feeling this is the best birthday gift I’ll get this year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"