{"id":524,"date":"2011-08-17T18:08:17","date_gmt":"2011-08-17T18:08:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/?p=524"},"modified":"2012-10-13T07:13:34","modified_gmt":"2012-10-13T07:13:34","slug":"facing-fear-and-finding-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/2011\/08\/facing-fear-and-finding-joy\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing Fear and Finding Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/RM-2010.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-653 alignleft\" title=\"R&amp;M 2010\" src=\"http:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/RM-2010-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"333\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/RM-2010-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/RM-2010-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/sideshot1.jpg\"><br \/>\n<\/a>Life has a way of making us face our fears whether we want to or not. For those who don&#8217;t know, I had a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/?p=129\" target=\"_blank\">life threatening miscarriage<\/a> in February 2011. The surgeon who performed my emergency D&amp;C said there is nothing wrong with me and encouraged me before I left the hospital to get pregnant as soon as I&#8217;d had a few normal cycles.<\/p>\n<p>I was just so happy to be on my own two feet, I banished the discussion from my mind until later.\u00a0Banished it because\u00a0<em>being cleared physically for pregnancy after miscarriage and being emotionally ready to become pregnant<\/em> are two very different things.<\/p>\n<p>After returning from the hospital, I took my time recovering, enjoying my children and doing some things for me that I wouldn&#8217;t have done were I still pregnant.\u00a0I didn&#8217;t want to dwell on the possibility of pregnancy too much yet &#8211; until several weeks ago. That&#8217;s when I realized that after five months of studiously avoiding pregnancy, my husband and I had enjoyed a grand ole&#8217; reunion with each other (he&#8217;d been gone for almost three weeks) for nearly a week &#8211; SMACK DAB in the middle of\u00a0<em>that<\/em>\u00a0week of the month.<\/p>\n<p><em>You know what I&#8217;m sayin&#8217;<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly I had to face the strong likelihood that I was pregnant and I discovered, upon retrospection, I was terrified at the prospect. Flashbacks of blood soaked towels between my legs and the feeling of the bathroom floor as I lost consciousness haunted me. I did NOT want to go through that again!!!<\/p>\n<p>I spent almost a week in that breathless, scared place before I could even test for pregnancy. Thankfully, my sister, a good friend and my strong husband were sounding boards for me as I carefully explained my feelings, hoping I didn&#8217;t sound too selfish. They encouraged me to face my fear and choose hope.<\/p>\n<p>After letting myself freak out for those few days, I pulled myself together and decided to remember the lesson I learned in February when I realized I might not have come home at all.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Life is short. Live it!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There are no guarantees that life will go a certain way or that the end won&#8217;t come earlier than we planned. So, we should consider every breath we take a gift and be unafraid to take chances. I want to be the kind of person who faces down my fears and takes a leap of faith toward my dreams of having a larger family and being a courageous woman.<\/p>\n<p>So, I took a leap. I lifted that little stick . I turned it over &#8211; and saw &#8211;<\/p>\n<p>TWO PINK LINES.<\/p>\n<p>Yep. It&#8217;s good news. While it might be better to wait to share because we&#8217;re not past the first trimester yet, I wanted to encourage those of you who have been where I have been this year. In a few weeks, I&#8217;ll be as far along as I was when I had my miscarriage and that carries with it an understandable stress. There is no guarantee that this baby will be ok but I am choosing to face my fear and find joy in this moment and this baby. Even though I&#8217;m feeling pretty nauseous.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a good sign, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Please this if you know of someone who it might encourage.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Don\u2019t miss updates from Organic Mama Cafe. Subscribe.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"wysija-register\">YTo3OntzOjk6IndpZGdldF9pZCI7czoyMDoid3lzaWphLW5sLTEzNTAxMTIzOTAiO3M6NToibGlzdHMiO2E6MTp7aTowO3M6MToiMSI7fXM6MTA6Imxpc3RzX25hbWUiO2E6MTp7aToxO3M6MTM6Ik15IGZpcnN0IGxpc3QiO31zOjEyOiJhdXRvcmVnaXN0ZXIiO3M6MTc6Im5vdF9hdXRvX3JlZ2lzdGVyIjtzOjEyOiJsYWJlbHN3aXRoaW4iO3M6MTM6ImxhYmVsc193aXRoaW4iO3M6Njoic3VibWl0IjtzOjEwOiJTdWJzY3JpYmUhIjtzOjc6InN1Y2Nlc3MiO3M6NTA6IkNoZWNrIHlvdXIgaW5ib3ggbm93IHRvIGNvbmZpcm0geW91ciBzdWJzY3JpcHRpb24uIjt9<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life has a way of making us face our fears whether we want to or not. For those who don&#8217;t know, I had a life threatening miscarriage in February 2011&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[20,47,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscarriage","category-pregnancy","category-spirit"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1GpYg-8s","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/524","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=524"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/524\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3205,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/524\/revisions\/3205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=524"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=524"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.organicmamacafe.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=524"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. 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