***If you are faint of heart, this may not be a post for you. It contains frank and graphic descriptions of blood and loss. ***
Up until last week, my family and I were happily anticipating the opportunity to announce the impending arrival of our third little one. We wanted to wait till I was a little further along to let everyone know. Unfortunately, my news today is not the happy announcement I was planning. Here is part two of the story of the loss of our baby.
Read A Miscarriage and an Unexpected Turn of Events, Part 1.
I went to bed with a sense of peace although I could feel mild cramping and knew what it meant. I slept quietly for a few hours.
Around midnight, Robert came to bed after a night of working through a new song set for an upcoming rehearsal. I woke and felt the labor-like pains my midwife told me to expect.
The contractions were strong and intense and felt like the start of real labor – only they increased in intensity very quickly. Perhaps it was the emotions involved that made them seem more painful than normal labor.
It takes my breath away now just remembering it. I tried not to dwell on the fact that the pain meant I wouldn’t be meeting my baby. Instead, I concentrated on accepting the moment.
Robert helped me to the bathroom and I lost blood and tissue. I hated the thought that my baby was breaking apart into the toilet. Part of me hoped I would be able to catch it and the other feared I might.
I remembered Pam reminding me not to stay in the bathroom but to rest in between pains because it might take a while. As I lay back down in bed, I felt the pain subside and I wished I could sleep.
For some reason, I asked Rob to stay awake with me because I was afraid I would bleed too much.
My inner wisdom was guiding me.
Miscarriage and an Unexpected Turn of Events, part 3.
Losing a baby can leave us feeling isolated. I shared my experience in the hopes that it will help other women know they aren’t alone. If you know someone who would be encouraged by this post, please share it.
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